22 Feb What goes around doesn’t always come around
I live a lot through others. My energy level and cheeriness is directly proportional to the amount of socializing I do. Taking others into account and interpreting their sentiments (and directing their actions in the right direction through this) is a way for me to stay fresh. I used to wait–usually for naught–others to give me a response.
When I was younger I got a lot of headache because people didn’t recognize the help I gave them. With age my understanding of other grew as I understood that others are often blind to outside help. Even if you had a big role in someone else’s success, they often don’t think about it or can’t recognize outside factors. This isn’t a bad thing because the feeling of succeeding yourself is better than feeling of being a burden or being dependant of other people’s help.
The ability to listen and help people empathetically is a virtue. When I was younger I was embittered when other people didn’t give me the help I gave them. Nowadays I understand that it isn’t their fault. It’s no one’s fault. People just have different fundamental natures.
Like usual, I can find positive sides in this. When you live a lot through others, seeing people succeed means more than accolades or thanks. At the same time I get to learn more about different types of people and their ways to act, think and feel. These are the things that fascinate me more than anything else.
If you help others waiting for a thanks or returns of favor, you’re not truly sincere. I believe strongly in true altruism. I don’t claim to be 100 % sincere when helping others, but if my ends are positive for all parties, I don’t see my actions being selfish. Through this model of thought I’ve managed to let go of waiting for returns of favor or accolades.
I’m not a religious person, but I’ve learned one principle from the law of karma, that I’ve loosely applied to my ways of thinking and acting: doing good deeds makes nothing worse.
I want to believe that others will – before long – surely notice how important you are to them, if you strive to act for their good. In principle, no healthy person wants to harm others. The ability to think from others’ perspective is a rare but extremely useful social skill. The most common misunderstandings in communication can be avoided through empathy and putting yourself in the situation of others. These are observations based purely on my own experiences.
A small summary to top it off:
- People are blind to outside help.
- If you can’t get the response you desire from people you help, it’s not their fault and it’s not your fault either.
- Holding grudge because of this will only prove that you weren’t truly sincere.
- Every person has a different personality but no one wants to hurt others. Not everyone can act empathetically in every situation.